Hey there! Feel free to join, there are no conditions, you just have to love Black Books - Bernard, Manny, Fran and wine.

Now, some quotes!


'I dont know, it's an impossible choice - walls,
thermometers... I'll just have to hope that when I flip
the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'

'-What do they want from me, why can't they just leave me
alone? I mean,what do they want from me?
-Manny:Well they want to buy books.
-Yeah but why me? Why do they come to me?
-Manny:Because you sell books.
-Yeah, I know, but Jesus...'

'We can't let them[the customers in a bookshop] find reasons to leave... we can feed
them! Lunch and dinner! And we'll build a pool, and a gym,
and an Egyptian style casino! No, that's a bit much.'

'-You always want something. You know in Tibet if they
want something, they give something away.
-Do they? That must be why they're such a dominant global
power.'

'-It's a chicken! Chicken is finite. You've got to move
on, how're you going to cope when somebody dies?
-Manny:Well, I'll just use the legs, it's thrifty.'

"I've never said it before because I'm too nice, but your
son has the cold, dead eyes of a killer."

'-So what's it like then, fags and booze?
-Well to be honest, after absolutely years of smoking and
drinking, you do sometimes look at yourself and think-
-Yep.
-You know, just sometimes, in between the first cigarette
with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of
cornershop piss at 3am, you do sometimes look at yourself
and think.
-Yep.
[holiding glass of wine, blowing out cigarette smoke and
grinning]
-This is fantastic. I'm in heaven.'

'-You know, if the two of you could do something relaxing
together this place wouldn't be so tense.
-What, every time we bicker we should have sex?'

'I am about to stop playing Who Shall I Kill First in my
head and just go for what feels natural! I think I'll
start with me- then it's you.

'-Now, all I need is some kind of system-
-Manny:Ptchah. There's only one system. Bet. Lose. Borrow,
steal, lose. Take the drugs. Lose. Prison. Death.'

'Right, you- keep an eye on her. And you- keep an eye on
him. I've got a universe to master.'

'Manny:Hah. You're toast. T.O.E.A.R.S.T. Toearst.'

'-When's the next race?
-There's none, we're closing now.
-I can't stop now, I'm winning... Come on, we'll make our
own race, you against Pat, huh? Three times round the car
park, I'll put sixty quid on you, you're looking at me.'

'-Manny: Ah, did you win or lose?
-It's hard to say.
-Manny: Alright, have you got more money, or less money?
-That's complicated.
-Manny: Have you got no money?
-Yeah.'

'Fran: You know what will happen don't you? He'll come in
and he'll say-
Manny: [mock irish accent] Fran, Manny, help me I'm in
trouble.
Bernard: [comes in] Fran, Manny, help me I'm in-
Fran: Hey Bernard, are you in some kind of trouble?'

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